I can't believe it has only been a week since our embryo transfer! It turned out to be quite a strange experience and I'm not even going to get into everything but our appointment was for 8:15 and before the transfer you have to drink 32 oz of water so that your full bladder will push your uterus to the best place for the doctor to see it.
When we got there we could hear one other couple in the room next to us in for their transfer and it sounded like another couple in for their retrieval. After waiting 15 minutes the nurse told us that the embryologist was last and they were waiting for him to arrive. We heard several different excuses as to why he was late, from car trouble to alarm trouble. Either way, he finally got there probably around 8:30 and they took the couple next to us in. Then we heard the doctor saying something about doing the schedule out of order and then he took the other girl next instead of us.
Finally around 9:15 (with a very full bladder) he came in to talk to us and showed us the picture of 2 embryos that were recommended to be implanted. They really looked great, especially compared to the last time.
And there is more to the story after that, but basically he did the implantation and after resting for 30 minutes we headed home and I was on bed rest for 2 days. We already had one blood test and the numbers looked good, we have another on Monday. Honestly, I don't have a good feeling about it right now but we will see!
Now we are at the lovely time where Jeremy has to give me a very painful shot in the bum every morning and then I get to give myself a blood thinner shot after that, just hoping it is all worth it.
Thanks again for all the support!!
Showing posts with label PCOS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PCOS. Show all posts
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
32!
Well the retrieval was this morning and I did end up getting really nervous and anxious on the way to the surgery center.
The nurses were really great and before I knew it I was waking up in recovery!
Here is a really unflattering picture Jer took of me after it was over :) All bloated and pumped full of fluids, lovely.
It took me a little while to wake up then I had juice and crackers. A little while later the nurse came in and said they got 32 eggs!! That is a huge number! We got 14 last time!
So they said because they had gotten so many, there was still a good chance that my ovaries would be hyper(over)stimulated. I had hyper-stimulation last time but it affected me before the procedure and this time I had mostly been feeling fine, just a little bit full.
I felt really great leaving the surgery center. Jeremy and I were both in a great mood and very relieved that this part was over. We went to get breakfast and headed back home. Then the 6 am wake up hit me combined with having been under anesthesia (and stress) and I fell asleep for a few hours.
Since then I have really been feeling the ovaries continue to swell. I have quite a bit of pain and a lot of fullness. Hopefully it will start turning around tomorrow and we won't have an unexpected crisis to deal with which could put the embryo transfer in jeopardy. Also my abdomen is so swollen right now, I am just waiting for someone to ask me when I am due, ugh. That should go back down shortly as well.
Anyway, overall great news today! Now we wait to hear tomorrow how many of the eggs were mature and how many of those fertilized. We will hope there are enough that we will be able to wait out the 5-days and do the transfer on Saturday. I think the odds are finally in our favor!
Thanks to everyone for all the care, concern, thoughts & prayers - it means a lot!!
The nurses were really great and before I knew it I was waking up in recovery!
Here is a really unflattering picture Jer took of me after it was over :) All bloated and pumped full of fluids, lovely.
It took me a little while to wake up then I had juice and crackers. A little while later the nurse came in and said they got 32 eggs!! That is a huge number! We got 14 last time!
So they said because they had gotten so many, there was still a good chance that my ovaries would be hyper(over)stimulated. I had hyper-stimulation last time but it affected me before the procedure and this time I had mostly been feeling fine, just a little bit full.
I felt really great leaving the surgery center. Jeremy and I were both in a great mood and very relieved that this part was over. We went to get breakfast and headed back home. Then the 6 am wake up hit me combined with having been under anesthesia (and stress) and I fell asleep for a few hours.
Since then I have really been feeling the ovaries continue to swell. I have quite a bit of pain and a lot of fullness. Hopefully it will start turning around tomorrow and we won't have an unexpected crisis to deal with which could put the embryo transfer in jeopardy. Also my abdomen is so swollen right now, I am just waiting for someone to ask me when I am due, ugh. That should go back down shortly as well.
Anyway, overall great news today! Now we wait to hear tomorrow how many of the eggs were mature and how many of those fertilized. We will hope there are enough that we will be able to wait out the 5-days and do the transfer on Saturday. I think the odds are finally in our favor!
Thanks to everyone for all the care, concern, thoughts & prayers - it means a lot!!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Hope Floats
After several people have recently asked me about my blog, I realized I really need to get back into it! Turns out it is just not as fun to write about things that aren't going as expected :) However, I started this for a reason and I will keep it up until I don't have a reason to discuss it anymore. Especially because I heard through the grapevine someone who also has been going through IVF was not sure if they could bring it up to me or if I would want to talk about it!! That is the WHOLE POINT of this blog! Yes, discuss, don't feel bad! I didn't do anything wrong to be put in this position! Fertility issues NEED to be more accepted and no one should feel ashamed. In case you missed it, here is how we got here.
So, back to present time - or recent anyway. Now I am sure unless you are a member of my immediate family you probably didn't notice that the time for us to be able to start trying again has come and gone. Well there is a reason for that, after having a normal period after the failed IVF cycle and again at the beginning of February we met with the doctor and were going to go ahead and get started after my next period...but it never came.
Then the doctor office had to cover their bases so they ordered me to go get my blood drawn for a pregnancy test. Well I kind of laughed it off because obviously I can't get pregnant on my own, the nurse said "you would be surprised" and haven't we all heard those stories of the woman who gets pregnant after going through IVF once or the woman who finds out she is pregnant right before she is scheduled to meet with a infertility specialist....it does happen. I even know a few people in real life that it has happened to. But I have slightly different issues than most infertile women - there is literally a road block that makes it physically impossible for me to get pregnant.....then again, that block is scar tissue, scar tissue does have the ability to change and even dissipate....there is a very tiny remote chance that it could be....
And there it was - HOPE. As much as I tried to tell myself it was stupid to even entertain the idea that I could be pregnant, I couldn't help but think about it. I mean it could be....but no, that is stupid....but, you never know...yes, I do know, it can't be...and on and on. I even took a pee test that was negative and I still could not stop myself from having thoughts of a potential positive blood test result. As much as I tried to suppress it, that hope kept creeping back in.
It wasn't only me either. When talking to my mom one day a few weeks ago she asked "did you hear back about your test" I only said "yes" and was a little distracted. When I finally turned to look at her she said "Well??" and I could see it there glistening in her eyes - hope.
Unfortunately and as expected the test was indeed negative. So the doctor said to wait another month to see if I get my period. I didn't. I finally went in for an ultrasound and the doctor said it is just related to PCOS but everything looks fine and we can get started again as soon as I wanted. I had my first Lupron shot in mid-April and I will have another on May 16 and then the daily injections begin again.
I think what I realized is that it is not only OK to have hope but I think I really need it. I went through the last round of IVF knowing in the back of my mind that it would work, but never letting myself feel fully committed to the idea so I wouldn't be as disappointed if it didn't. That is something that I am really having a hard time with, I have to keep telling myself to think and act like I am going to get pregnant, there is a lot to be said for a positive outlook as it relates to your health. I am going to let the hope float on up this time :) I saw this on my cousins FB and it reminded me how much I love that movie. I think it is time to break out the DVD (of course it doesn't hurt to watch Harry for a few hours either now does it?!)
So, back to present time - or recent anyway. Now I am sure unless you are a member of my immediate family you probably didn't notice that the time for us to be able to start trying again has come and gone. Well there is a reason for that, after having a normal period after the failed IVF cycle and again at the beginning of February we met with the doctor and were going to go ahead and get started after my next period...but it never came.
Then the doctor office had to cover their bases so they ordered me to go get my blood drawn for a pregnancy test. Well I kind of laughed it off because obviously I can't get pregnant on my own, the nurse said "you would be surprised" and haven't we all heard those stories of the woman who gets pregnant after going through IVF once or the woman who finds out she is pregnant right before she is scheduled to meet with a infertility specialist....it does happen. I even know a few people in real life that it has happened to. But I have slightly different issues than most infertile women - there is literally a road block that makes it physically impossible for me to get pregnant.....then again, that block is scar tissue, scar tissue does have the ability to change and even dissipate....there is a very tiny remote chance that it could be....
And there it was - HOPE. As much as I tried to tell myself it was stupid to even entertain the idea that I could be pregnant, I couldn't help but think about it. I mean it could be....but no, that is stupid....but, you never know...yes, I do know, it can't be...and on and on. I even took a pee test that was negative and I still could not stop myself from having thoughts of a potential positive blood test result. As much as I tried to suppress it, that hope kept creeping back in.
It wasn't only me either. When talking to my mom one day a few weeks ago she asked "did you hear back about your test" I only said "yes" and was a little distracted. When I finally turned to look at her she said "Well??" and I could see it there glistening in her eyes - hope.
Unfortunately and as expected the test was indeed negative. So the doctor said to wait another month to see if I get my period. I didn't. I finally went in for an ultrasound and the doctor said it is just related to PCOS but everything looks fine and we can get started again as soon as I wanted. I had my first Lupron shot in mid-April and I will have another on May 16 and then the daily injections begin again.
I think what I realized is that it is not only OK to have hope but I think I really need it. I went through the last round of IVF knowing in the back of my mind that it would work, but never letting myself feel fully committed to the idea so I wouldn't be as disappointed if it didn't. That is something that I am really having a hard time with, I have to keep telling myself to think and act like I am going to get pregnant, there is a lot to be said for a positive outlook as it relates to your health. I am going to let the hope float on up this time :) I saw this on my cousins FB and it reminded me how much I love that movie. I think it is time to break out the DVD (of course it doesn't hurt to watch Harry for a few hours either now does it?!)
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Starting Over
It is a new year and a new start for our efforts to expand our family. Jeremy and I decided relatively quickly after the first failure that it was worth it to try the IVF process again. We really didn't dwell on the negative for very long, that is just how we are I guess.
We decided to wait until after Anna and my little Florida vacation to get back to the doctor office so just over a month after finding out the results from our first round we were back with the doctor to reevaluate the situation.
The doctor was very straightforward and matter of fact about the situation, which I guess you want from a medical professional. He also was very compassionate and I felt he was truly disappointed and almost apologetic that the procedure did not work.
He went through my chart and reviewed every step of the procedure with us. Basically it came down to fate...or bad luck....or God's will (more on that in a future post) because everything had gone according to plan and looked great up until the fertilization.
He again said that the sperm quality was great, my egg retrieval went well and my 13 mature eggs were all very strong. There just is no reason it didn't work. There is no good reason we didn't achieve fertilization on our own. I think that is a little bit worse than actually having an explanation. Not knowing why is hard. The doctor did say that several of my eggs, not all, but several had thickened walls. This is something that is common with women who have PCOS and for this reason women with PCOS are almost always set to do ICSI right away (where they literally inject the sperm into the egg). Of course I was one of the exceptions seeing as how I had gotten pregnant on my first try three different times already, obviously we did not have an issue with the sperm not penetrating the wall of the egg. And really, that wasn't the issue here either because this time the sperm did not even try to get through the wall no matter what the thickness.
However, knowing that now we will go ahead an plan to do ICSI right from the start with our next cycle. Doing the ICSI process right away yields much better results than waiting a day to see what happens naturally and then doing it on rapidly deteriorating eggs.
Our doctor said the odds of success are the same with the second round of IVF as they are with the first, it is starting with the third that they progressively get worse. He said there is no reason not to think we still have a great chance of the process working for us if we try again. There are no indications that it shouldn't have worked before or that it won't work in the future.
So we have to wait at least 8 weeks for my body to recover (it has been about 7 already) and the Doctor wants me to do 2 rounds of the Depot Lupron shots which will take at least 2 months and then we can start the process again, probably around May.
I just wanted to take the chance to update everyone who has been following. Again we are so thankful and grateful for your thoughts and prayers and thank you to everyone who checks in with me to see how it is going and how we are doing, we really appreciate it. Today marks 1 year since the day I woke up with the excruciating pain that eventually lead to surgery, scar tissue and IVF becoming part of our story. It has been quite a year for sure with a lot of ups and downs, but I am thankful for what I have and trusting that everything will work out as it is meant to be. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Everything will be OK in the end, if it isn't OK, it isn't the end"
We decided to wait until after Anna and my little Florida vacation to get back to the doctor office so just over a month after finding out the results from our first round we were back with the doctor to reevaluate the situation.
The doctor was very straightforward and matter of fact about the situation, which I guess you want from a medical professional. He also was very compassionate and I felt he was truly disappointed and almost apologetic that the procedure did not work.
He went through my chart and reviewed every step of the procedure with us. Basically it came down to fate...or bad luck....or God's will (more on that in a future post) because everything had gone according to plan and looked great up until the fertilization.
He again said that the sperm quality was great, my egg retrieval went well and my 13 mature eggs were all very strong. There just is no reason it didn't work. There is no good reason we didn't achieve fertilization on our own. I think that is a little bit worse than actually having an explanation. Not knowing why is hard. The doctor did say that several of my eggs, not all, but several had thickened walls. This is something that is common with women who have PCOS and for this reason women with PCOS are almost always set to do ICSI right away (where they literally inject the sperm into the egg). Of course I was one of the exceptions seeing as how I had gotten pregnant on my first try three different times already, obviously we did not have an issue with the sperm not penetrating the wall of the egg. And really, that wasn't the issue here either because this time the sperm did not even try to get through the wall no matter what the thickness.
However, knowing that now we will go ahead an plan to do ICSI right from the start with our next cycle. Doing the ICSI process right away yields much better results than waiting a day to see what happens naturally and then doing it on rapidly deteriorating eggs.
Our doctor said the odds of success are the same with the second round of IVF as they are with the first, it is starting with the third that they progressively get worse. He said there is no reason not to think we still have a great chance of the process working for us if we try again. There are no indications that it shouldn't have worked before or that it won't work in the future.
So we have to wait at least 8 weeks for my body to recover (it has been about 7 already) and the Doctor wants me to do 2 rounds of the Depot Lupron shots which will take at least 2 months and then we can start the process again, probably around May.
I just wanted to take the chance to update everyone who has been following. Again we are so thankful and grateful for your thoughts and prayers and thank you to everyone who checks in with me to see how it is going and how we are doing, we really appreciate it. Today marks 1 year since the day I woke up with the excruciating pain that eventually lead to surgery, scar tissue and IVF becoming part of our story. It has been quite a year for sure with a lot of ups and downs, but I am thankful for what I have and trusting that everything will work out as it is meant to be. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Everything will be OK in the end, if it isn't OK, it isn't the end"
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Closing out 2011...
...and closing out this chapter of our journey. Unfortunately we found out last week that I am not pregnant.
Luckily I was pretty distracted by Christmas and all the activity so I didn't give it much thought, but Monday afternoon I realized it had probably been long enough to where I could pee on a stick and get an accurate result, so I did that night and it was negative. I guess I kind of expected it, I never really felt pregnant like I had the last 2 times. Still, they say you get the more accurate results when you take the test first thing in the morning, so I did it again the next day and it was negative again. I figured that sealed it and I immediately stopped all the shots and hormones I was taking. That afternoon I was scheduled for the 2 week blood test anyway so I took that.
Wednesday morning the doctor called and it was settled. Of course I was/am very disappointed. Just thinking about everything we had gone through....the huge expense, the painful shots and medications, the effects it had taken on me physically and mentally, the increased risk of cancer I now allegedly have from the hormones....all of that for nothing. That is really hard to take. All of that is more than worth it when a baby is the end result, but for nothing?
And then of course I have the whole feeling that we were never even supposed to be in this situation, and when we were, we were never supposed to have any problems. Well, we had problems and I suppose we are exactly where we are meant to be right now. Our family will expand in due time, this just isn't it.
I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband to go through this with, he has always been extremely positive and supportive. I am also very thankful for the support of our family and friends. I feel a little guilty for not posting this before I saw a bunch of family members who I know have been following our story, but I guess I am just not the "talk about it" type. I don't think that really helps me. Most of all I am so very blessed to have the most beautiful, funny and smartest little girl I have ever met in my life. It really is hard to dwell on the negative when Anna is around to cheer you up.
And then something unimaginable happened this week to a close friend of mine and it really put things in perspective. Yes what we just went through was terrible, but it could be so much worse. And I hate that my friend is having to do something I wouldn't wish on anyone - but if she can get through this, surely I will be just fine.
And actually the more that we talked about it and thought about it, almost everyone we know who has gone through IVF did not have success on their first try. Strange, and I have no idea why that is, but it is true. The vast majority (not that we even know a "vast" number of people who have done IVF lol, but all except 1 couple that I can think of) were successful on their second try.
We have to make an appointment with the Doctor now to talk about what happened, even though I am sure they will not have any concrete answers, and to talk about next steps. I have a feeling we will be back in the IVF train in the not too distant future, but we are taking a little break now. Anna and I are going to have some relaxation in Florida, and having the house to himself is enough of a break for Jer :)
I'll keep updating this blog as anything comes up and let you know what the doctor does have to say about what went wrong. Thank you again for all of the interest, support, thoughts and prayers. After 2 lost pregnancies in 2011 we are looking forward to changing that in the new year!
Luckily I was pretty distracted by Christmas and all the activity so I didn't give it much thought, but Monday afternoon I realized it had probably been long enough to where I could pee on a stick and get an accurate result, so I did that night and it was negative. I guess I kind of expected it, I never really felt pregnant like I had the last 2 times. Still, they say you get the more accurate results when you take the test first thing in the morning, so I did it again the next day and it was negative again. I figured that sealed it and I immediately stopped all the shots and hormones I was taking. That afternoon I was scheduled for the 2 week blood test anyway so I took that.
Wednesday morning the doctor called and it was settled. Of course I was/am very disappointed. Just thinking about everything we had gone through....the huge expense, the painful shots and medications, the effects it had taken on me physically and mentally, the increased risk of cancer I now allegedly have from the hormones....all of that for nothing. That is really hard to take. All of that is more than worth it when a baby is the end result, but for nothing?
And then of course I have the whole feeling that we were never even supposed to be in this situation, and when we were, we were never supposed to have any problems. Well, we had problems and I suppose we are exactly where we are meant to be right now. Our family will expand in due time, this just isn't it.
I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband to go through this with, he has always been extremely positive and supportive. I am also very thankful for the support of our family and friends. I feel a little guilty for not posting this before I saw a bunch of family members who I know have been following our story, but I guess I am just not the "talk about it" type. I don't think that really helps me. Most of all I am so very blessed to have the most beautiful, funny and smartest little girl I have ever met in my life. It really is hard to dwell on the negative when Anna is around to cheer you up.
And then something unimaginable happened this week to a close friend of mine and it really put things in perspective. Yes what we just went through was terrible, but it could be so much worse. And I hate that my friend is having to do something I wouldn't wish on anyone - but if she can get through this, surely I will be just fine.
And actually the more that we talked about it and thought about it, almost everyone we know who has gone through IVF did not have success on their first try. Strange, and I have no idea why that is, but it is true. The vast majority (not that we even know a "vast" number of people who have done IVF lol, but all except 1 couple that I can think of) were successful on their second try.
We have to make an appointment with the Doctor now to talk about what happened, even though I am sure they will not have any concrete answers, and to talk about next steps. I have a feeling we will be back in the IVF train in the not too distant future, but we are taking a little break now. Anna and I are going to have some relaxation in Florida, and having the house to himself is enough of a break for Jer :)
I'll keep updating this blog as anything comes up and let you know what the doctor does have to say about what went wrong. Thank you again for all of the interest, support, thoughts and prayers. After 2 lost pregnancies in 2011 we are looking forward to changing that in the new year!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Trigger Shot
Bright and early this morning (yes, Sunday) I ran down to the IVF doctor for a check in. Jeremy was in Frankenmuth with Anna visiting his parents so I was by myself. The doctor performed an ultrasound to look at my follicles on my ovaries that I have been taking medications to stimulate and they looked great, there were tons of follicles that the doctor said were in great condition, he said that he would have no problems at all getting plenty of quality eggs.
He told me to stop taking the stimulation hormones and we were going to move in to Egg Retrieval mode. I was told to take my "trigger shot" that starts the egg production that night. The retrieval process is scheduled for Tuesday morning!
The egg retrieval procedure is the more intense of the 2 that I will go through, I will actually be put under anesthesia but the process itself is relatively short and easy. The doctor will go in and grab all the follicles that look good and hopefully have good eggs growing inside of them then they will be fertilized and the ones that make it past that stage will be allowed to start developing and if everything goes according to plan, next Sunday they will be put back inside of me.
Well, it turns out that "if" is a bigger one than we planned on. As I said in last post the stimulating hormones were actually working TOO good. So now I am at risk for something called "Ovarian Hyper-stimulation" and because getting pregnant actually will stimulate my ovaries even more there is a chance that actually doing the implantation in the same monthly cycle as taking the drugs will be too much.
The doctor is going to have to make that call on Tuesday and if he decides it is too risky they will freeze the embryos until next month and I will only have to do the easy part of the procedure then.
Obviously I want to do what is in the best interest of my health, but I really hope that we don't have to put anything off for a variety of reasons not the least of which is that my insurance resets in the new year. But we just have to wait and see how it goes and pray for the best outcome.
He told me to stop taking the stimulation hormones and we were going to move in to Egg Retrieval mode. I was told to take my "trigger shot" that starts the egg production that night. The retrieval process is scheduled for Tuesday morning!
The egg retrieval procedure is the more intense of the 2 that I will go through, I will actually be put under anesthesia but the process itself is relatively short and easy. The doctor will go in and grab all the follicles that look good and hopefully have good eggs growing inside of them then they will be fertilized and the ones that make it past that stage will be allowed to start developing and if everything goes according to plan, next Sunday they will be put back inside of me.
Well, it turns out that "if" is a bigger one than we planned on. As I said in last post the stimulating hormones were actually working TOO good. So now I am at risk for something called "Ovarian Hyper-stimulation" and because getting pregnant actually will stimulate my ovaries even more there is a chance that actually doing the implantation in the same monthly cycle as taking the drugs will be too much.
The doctor is going to have to make that call on Tuesday and if he decides it is too risky they will freeze the embryos until next month and I will only have to do the easy part of the procedure then.
Obviously I want to do what is in the best interest of my health, but I really hope that we don't have to put anything off for a variety of reasons not the least of which is that my insurance resets in the new year. But we just have to wait and see how it goes and pray for the best outcome.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Box full of needles...
...that is what just arrived at my front door! All (OK most) of my medications for the remainder of the procedure have come. They are almost all injectable. This should be loads of fun.
Here they all are:
Here they all are:
And that doesn't even include the progesterone which has a short shelf life and I will order in a few weeks, or the shots I'll have to take twice a day throughout the entire pregnancy (and for 6 weeks after)
But, this does also mean we are about to hit the next check point in the process. We have an appointment tomorrow with the Dr to have an ultrasound that will see if the Lupron did it's job and all of my follicles are at the same starting point. If not, I will need to have an additional Lupron injection and we will try again, not sure if this will put the procedure into 2012 or not, but I am not worried about that yet. Let's just hope that we are moving along as scheduled!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
5...4...3...2...
Well the big day is here, rather the first of several upcoming big days. Tomorrow I finally take my first shot. The medicine I will have injected tomorrow is called Lupron Depot. It is actually a medication developed for Endometriosis that doctors found will help with IVF as well.
The Lupron will basically shut my reproductive cycle down. Right now, because of the PCOS, I have follicles of all different sizes on my ovaries. The Lupron will shut down the hormone that develops the follicles making them all go back to the start in a way so that they can all be grown at the same time and in a controlled manner by the doctor. This way, there is a great chance of having more eggs develop to the size needed to make a embryo and hopefully when I have my egg retrieval process (in about a month!! yikes!!) there will be at least 10 - 15 decent quality eggs for the Doctor to remove and fertilize.
The needle (this is that $800 shot, luckily only ended up being $50 after insurance) is about 3 inches long and has to be injected into my muscle. I am still on the fence about having Jeremy do this or going to have the nurse do it. Not that I don't trust Jeremy, when I started Lovenox after the first ectopic he did all of my injections for quite awhile until I had to learn to do them myself because I traveled for work. But I can't give myself an Intra Muscular shot because it is best to do it in your back side and hard to reach on your own.
Anyway, I do trust Jer, but A) that needle sure is looong, B) The medication is a powder that needs to be mixed and they explained it to us, but that was more than a month ago when we thought the shot would take place at the beginning of October and C) did I mention it is an $800 shot? I don't want to screw it up...and if this doesn't happen right on this day then we will be all off track again and we really won't be able to fit a procedure in before the end of 2011. (update from my last post: we are able to get a try in before the end of the year!! I was so happy about that! Should happen the week of December 11 so well before holiday vacations) There will be plenty of additional shots in my near future that Jeremy will have the joy of administering. I just don't really feel like driving all the way to Ypsilanti (about 30 minutes) for a shot but since it is a one time medication I probably will.
So as of tomorrow, the wheels are in motion, the process has officially begun! I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers, keep them coming :)
The Lupron will basically shut my reproductive cycle down. Right now, because of the PCOS, I have follicles of all different sizes on my ovaries. The Lupron will shut down the hormone that develops the follicles making them all go back to the start in a way so that they can all be grown at the same time and in a controlled manner by the doctor. This way, there is a great chance of having more eggs develop to the size needed to make a embryo and hopefully when I have my egg retrieval process (in about a month!! yikes!!) there will be at least 10 - 15 decent quality eggs for the Doctor to remove and fertilize.
The needle (this is that $800 shot, luckily only ended up being $50 after insurance) is about 3 inches long and has to be injected into my muscle. I am still on the fence about having Jeremy do this or going to have the nurse do it. Not that I don't trust Jeremy, when I started Lovenox after the first ectopic he did all of my injections for quite awhile until I had to learn to do them myself because I traveled for work. But I can't give myself an Intra Muscular shot because it is best to do it in your back side and hard to reach on your own.
Anyway, I do trust Jer, but A) that needle sure is looong, B) The medication is a powder that needs to be mixed and they explained it to us, but that was more than a month ago when we thought the shot would take place at the beginning of October and C) did I mention it is an $800 shot? I don't want to screw it up...and if this doesn't happen right on this day then we will be all off track again and we really won't be able to fit a procedure in before the end of 2011. (update from my last post: we are able to get a try in before the end of the year!! I was so happy about that! Should happen the week of December 11 so well before holiday vacations) There will be plenty of additional shots in my near future that Jeremy will have the joy of administering. I just don't really feel like driving all the way to Ypsilanti (about 30 minutes) for a shot but since it is a one time medication I probably will.
So as of tomorrow, the wheels are in motion, the process has officially begun! I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers, keep them coming :)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Our (fertility) story ... so far
I always knew in the back of my mind that I would need help getting pregnant. When I was 21 I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which, at the time, was a pretty rare condition. It is something getting more and more awareness by patients and doctors so more and more women are at least being told what is wrong with them, there really isn't too much that can be done at this point, but just knowing there is a reason for all of the horrible side effects that come along with this condition is a start.
My first indication that I had anything abnormal was a single black hair that started growing on my chin when I was in college. I started tweezing it, which was easy enough but slowly the hairs multiplied. And then my period would occasionally skip a month...or two...when I missed six I knew it was time to talk to the doctor. I had several doctors tell me that they just didn't know. A dermatologist told me that the hair growth was because I was just "unlucky".
Eventually I did find a gynecologist who immediately recognized the symptoms and gave me a diagnosis that explained the hair growth, missed periods and weight gain I had recently been experiencing. Other side effects of PCOS including hair loss and infertility would remain to be seen if they develop.
My cycles were put back on schedule with birth control pills and I started taking metformin, a diabetes drug, for the weight gain and to help with staying regular. Turns out PCOS patients also have insulin resistance issues (which also is a factor in the weight gain). Things were OK for a long time. At some point I switched to the birth control ring that is left in all month versus the pills that are taken everyday as I had an issue remembering them.
In January 2007 Jeremy and I took a weekend trip to Niagara Falls. It was a stressful drive as you can imagine, through Canada in the winter and the day after we got home, I started feeling like I had a horrible chest cold, but nothing else was wrong. Very long story short, I ended up in the hospital with 2 Pulmonary Embolism...AKA blood clots in my lungs, yes plural, one on each side. I could have easily died if it wasn't caught, which is a whole other story. But it did get blamed on being on the hormones from my birth control combined with long car rides and I was told I could never be on birth control again because the active ingredient is a hormone that could now kill me.
So I, of course, go to the worst possible scenario...if I can't be on birth control, I can't have a regular cycle, if I can't have a regular cycle, there is little chance I could get pregnant, assuming I am not already infertile from the PCOS.....however, I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that because I was getting married in 5 months!
After a great first year of marriage (and a surprisingly regular cycle without the drugs) we started talking about babies. I figured that it would be a struggle for us because the odds were stacked against us to begin with, little did I know what was coming.
We started trying, rather we stopped preventing it in April 2008 while traveling in Australia. After we got home I found a reproductive endocrinologist, or fertility specialist in my insurance plan and made an appointment. Usually doctors say to try for at least 6 months to a year before getting concerned, but again, I just knew that we would need assistance so I figured I would skip the middleman. The day of our first meeting with the doctor in late June 2008 I started getting bad cramps and I figured my period was coming. Over the next week the pain in my lower abdomen grew more and more intense, it felt like there was a giant gas bubble in my lower left section, but nothing helped it. There were times I could barely walk, but I figured it was my period coming because there was some blood. At a follow up ultrasound appointment with the fertility doctor a week later I mentioned it and she took some blood to test for pregnancy just in case. A few hours later I got the call that I was indeed pregnant but the pain and her doing an ultrasound that day and not seeing an embryo meant that it must be a tubal or ectopic pregnancy and I had to get to the hospital for emergency surgery to remove it. Also, this meant I had gotten pregnant in May 2008.
I had heard of an ectopic pregnancy and I kind of knew what it meant but I thought it was one of those weird things that hardly ever actually happens (although with my track record, I don't know why I was surprised at all). So my husband took my to the hospital where the doctor brought me into surgery and a few hours later I was home to recover. She tried to just go in through my belly button but wasn't able to remove the mass (that is what they called the pregnancy) so I did have another bikini line incision. It was a tough recovery, a lot of rest and a lot of pain. I was just so grateful that I had only found out I was pregnant that day, at the same time I found out that it would be removed. I never had a chance to get excited or attached to the idea, so it wasn't as big of a loss as it could have been. Also, the doctor was able to remove the 'mass' and repair that tube it was in so my chances of getting pregnant in the future were not diminished at all. She said had the tube been damaged beyond repair, my chances would only decrease by a few percent anyway. I guess the body adjusts.
We were instructed to take the next month off of trying for recovery and we decided to get right back at it in August. In September 2008 I became pregnant again, only this time I was monitoring it very closely and I knew immediately and was able to work with the doctors, the fertility doctor and my hematologist (who put me on blood thinner shots right away because pregnancy actually thickens your blood and the chances of clots). and nine (or so!) months later we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
We decided 2 years was a good space and in November 2010 we started not preventing pregnancy again, I figured I would start keeping track of ovulation and everything in the new year, which I did. I have never really trusted the ovulation predictor kits because of my skewed hormone levels from the PCOS I can never count on them 100% to be accurate, and on top of that I had what seemed to be a relativley normal period in mid-January.....however on February 18, 2011 I was woken up at 6:30 am by an intense pain in my lower left abdomen.
I knew right away exactly what it was, or at least what I had a horrible feeling it was. I tried to go back to sleep but the pain was so intense, I finally got back up and knew what I had to do....the lines on the pregnancy test showed up almost immediately and my worst fears were confirmed.
So somehow I got Anna to my parents and got myself to my doctors and, very long story short again, I ended up in emergency surgery for 6 hours and 5 days in the hospital after that. But I still had hope, I knew that my left tube where this pregnancy had been (again) was not able to be saved this time, but emergency repairs were made to my right tube, which was found mid-surgery to be disconnected for unknown reasons, in hopes I would still be able to conceive naturally.
3 months of recovery later I had a test done to see if that right tube was indeed repaired and it was not. I could not believe it. I had always had a positive attitude about the entire situation because I figured it would all work out OK, it had to...why wouldn't it? Haven't I been through enough already? Well, I guess not....and that brings us to today and our impending meeting with a fertility specialist. Have not decided which one yet - I feel kind of an alliance to the doctor we started this whole journey with, but my current gynecologist is recommending the one who did the most recent emergency surgery on me and is connected to the hospital I would hopefully give birth in. Either way it is going to be very expensive so I am avoiding the whole thing, but it is time to get moving. More to come
My first indication that I had anything abnormal was a single black hair that started growing on my chin when I was in college. I started tweezing it, which was easy enough but slowly the hairs multiplied. And then my period would occasionally skip a month...or two...when I missed six I knew it was time to talk to the doctor. I had several doctors tell me that they just didn't know. A dermatologist told me that the hair growth was because I was just "unlucky".
Eventually I did find a gynecologist who immediately recognized the symptoms and gave me a diagnosis that explained the hair growth, missed periods and weight gain I had recently been experiencing. Other side effects of PCOS including hair loss and infertility would remain to be seen if they develop.
My cycles were put back on schedule with birth control pills and I started taking metformin, a diabetes drug, for the weight gain and to help with staying regular. Turns out PCOS patients also have insulin resistance issues (which also is a factor in the weight gain). Things were OK for a long time. At some point I switched to the birth control ring that is left in all month versus the pills that are taken everyday as I had an issue remembering them.
In January 2007 Jeremy and I took a weekend trip to Niagara Falls. It was a stressful drive as you can imagine, through Canada in the winter and the day after we got home, I started feeling like I had a horrible chest cold, but nothing else was wrong. Very long story short, I ended up in the hospital with 2 Pulmonary Embolism...AKA blood clots in my lungs, yes plural, one on each side. I could have easily died if it wasn't caught, which is a whole other story. But it did get blamed on being on the hormones from my birth control combined with long car rides and I was told I could never be on birth control again because the active ingredient is a hormone that could now kill me.
So I, of course, go to the worst possible scenario...if I can't be on birth control, I can't have a regular cycle, if I can't have a regular cycle, there is little chance I could get pregnant, assuming I am not already infertile from the PCOS.....however, I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that because I was getting married in 5 months!
After a great first year of marriage (and a surprisingly regular cycle without the drugs) we started talking about babies. I figured that it would be a struggle for us because the odds were stacked against us to begin with, little did I know what was coming.
We started trying, rather we stopped preventing it in April 2008 while traveling in Australia. After we got home I found a reproductive endocrinologist, or fertility specialist in my insurance plan and made an appointment. Usually doctors say to try for at least 6 months to a year before getting concerned, but again, I just knew that we would need assistance so I figured I would skip the middleman. The day of our first meeting with the doctor in late June 2008 I started getting bad cramps and I figured my period was coming. Over the next week the pain in my lower abdomen grew more and more intense, it felt like there was a giant gas bubble in my lower left section, but nothing helped it. There were times I could barely walk, but I figured it was my period coming because there was some blood. At a follow up ultrasound appointment with the fertility doctor a week later I mentioned it and she took some blood to test for pregnancy just in case. A few hours later I got the call that I was indeed pregnant but the pain and her doing an ultrasound that day and not seeing an embryo meant that it must be a tubal or ectopic pregnancy and I had to get to the hospital for emergency surgery to remove it. Also, this meant I had gotten pregnant in May 2008.
I had heard of an ectopic pregnancy and I kind of knew what it meant but I thought it was one of those weird things that hardly ever actually happens (although with my track record, I don't know why I was surprised at all). So my husband took my to the hospital where the doctor brought me into surgery and a few hours later I was home to recover. She tried to just go in through my belly button but wasn't able to remove the mass (that is what they called the pregnancy) so I did have another bikini line incision. It was a tough recovery, a lot of rest and a lot of pain. I was just so grateful that I had only found out I was pregnant that day, at the same time I found out that it would be removed. I never had a chance to get excited or attached to the idea, so it wasn't as big of a loss as it could have been. Also, the doctor was able to remove the 'mass' and repair that tube it was in so my chances of getting pregnant in the future were not diminished at all. She said had the tube been damaged beyond repair, my chances would only decrease by a few percent anyway. I guess the body adjusts.
We were instructed to take the next month off of trying for recovery and we decided to get right back at it in August. In September 2008 I became pregnant again, only this time I was monitoring it very closely and I knew immediately and was able to work with the doctors, the fertility doctor and my hematologist (who put me on blood thinner shots right away because pregnancy actually thickens your blood and the chances of clots). and nine (or so!) months later we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
We decided 2 years was a good space and in November 2010 we started not preventing pregnancy again, I figured I would start keeping track of ovulation and everything in the new year, which I did. I have never really trusted the ovulation predictor kits because of my skewed hormone levels from the PCOS I can never count on them 100% to be accurate, and on top of that I had what seemed to be a relativley normal period in mid-January.....however on February 18, 2011 I was woken up at 6:30 am by an intense pain in my lower left abdomen.
I knew right away exactly what it was, or at least what I had a horrible feeling it was. I tried to go back to sleep but the pain was so intense, I finally got back up and knew what I had to do....the lines on the pregnancy test showed up almost immediately and my worst fears were confirmed.
So somehow I got Anna to my parents and got myself to my doctors and, very long story short again, I ended up in emergency surgery for 6 hours and 5 days in the hospital after that. But I still had hope, I knew that my left tube where this pregnancy had been (again) was not able to be saved this time, but emergency repairs were made to my right tube, which was found mid-surgery to be disconnected for unknown reasons, in hopes I would still be able to conceive naturally.
3 months of recovery later I had a test done to see if that right tube was indeed repaired and it was not. I could not believe it. I had always had a positive attitude about the entire situation because I figured it would all work out OK, it had to...why wouldn't it? Haven't I been through enough already? Well, I guess not....and that brings us to today and our impending meeting with a fertility specialist. Have not decided which one yet - I feel kind of an alliance to the doctor we started this whole journey with, but my current gynecologist is recommending the one who did the most recent emergency surgery on me and is connected to the hospital I would hopefully give birth in. Either way it is going to be very expensive so I am avoiding the whole thing, but it is time to get moving. More to come
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