It is a new year and a new start for our efforts to expand our family. Jeremy and I decided relatively quickly after the first failure that it was worth it to try the IVF process again. We really didn't dwell on the negative for very long, that is just how we are I guess.
We decided to wait until after Anna and my little Florida vacation to get back to the doctor office so just over a month after finding out the results from our first round we were back with the doctor to reevaluate the situation.
The doctor was very straightforward and matter of fact about the situation, which I guess you want from a medical professional. He also was very compassionate and I felt he was truly disappointed and almost apologetic that the procedure did not work.
He went through my chart and reviewed every step of the procedure with us. Basically it came down to fate...or bad luck....or God's will (more on that in a future post) because everything had gone according to plan and looked great up until the fertilization.
He again said that the sperm quality was great, my egg retrieval went well and my 13 mature eggs were all very strong. There just is no reason it didn't work. There is no good reason we didn't achieve fertilization on our own. I think that is a little bit worse than actually having an explanation. Not knowing why is hard. The doctor did say that several of my eggs, not all, but several had thickened walls. This is something that is common with women who have PCOS and for this reason women with PCOS are almost always set to do ICSI right away (where they literally inject the sperm into the egg). Of course I was one of the exceptions seeing as how I had gotten pregnant on my first try three different times already, obviously we did not have an issue with the sperm not penetrating the wall of the egg. And really, that wasn't the issue here either because this time the sperm did not even try to get through the wall no matter what the thickness.
However, knowing that now we will go ahead an plan to do ICSI right from the start with our next cycle. Doing the ICSI process right away yields much better results than waiting a day to see what happens naturally and then doing it on rapidly deteriorating eggs.
Our doctor said the odds of success are the same with the second round of IVF as they are with the first, it is starting with the third that they progressively get worse. He said there is no reason not to think we still have a great chance of the process working for us if we try again. There are no indications that it shouldn't have worked before or that it won't work in the future.
So we have to wait at least 8 weeks for my body to recover (it has been about 7 already) and the Doctor wants me to do 2 rounds of the Depot Lupron shots which will take at least 2 months and then we can start the process again, probably around May.
I just wanted to take the chance to update everyone who has been following. Again we are so thankful and grateful for your thoughts and prayers and thank you to everyone who checks in with me to see how it is going and how we are doing, we really appreciate it. Today marks 1 year since the day I woke up with the excruciating pain that eventually lead to surgery, scar tissue and IVF becoming part of our story. It has been quite a year for sure with a lot of ups and downs, but I am thankful for what I have and trusting that everything will work out as it is meant to be. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Everything will be OK in the end, if it isn't OK, it isn't the end"
Showing posts with label Rescue ICSI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rescue ICSI. Show all posts
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
Now I know why no one talks about it
Well, the past week has been a big rollercoaster, I see now why people just don't talk about all of this infertility stuff. I mean I really wanted to be open and honest, but when you are on the low end of emotions you really don't want to talk to anyone, at least I didn't...much less have to broadcast bad news, but here it goes.
So on Tuesday they were able to retrieve 14 eggs and they set them overnight to fertilize, we found out later that they actually put 50,000 sperm with each egg when in the human body the ratio is more like 1,000:1! But despite those more than "ideal" conditions we found out Wednesday morning that none of our eggs had fertilized...NONE! I never ever expected to hear that, we are not going through this process because we have any actual issue with fertility, just the physical act of the egg getting where it needs to be. As I've said many times, all three times I was pregnant it was on the first try - we shouldn't have an issue here and I never thought we would in a million years. But, we did. In fact they discarded 1 egg that was immature and the doctor later told us that when they went in to look Wednesday morning not a single sperm had attached to any of the 13 eggs. Not one! He said usually there are hundreds all over all of the eggs and we had zero.
The Doctor said the sperm looked great, were fantastic quality and the eggs were all really strong too. He had no idea why this happened and said it is very rare even for people with fertility problems that none attach at all.
Well that was pretty devastating, I had always been extremely positive and never had worries everything would go well on our first try. I was more worried about it going TOO well and ending up octomom or something (OK, maybe not that worried).
The nurse told us they were going to go ahead with a procedure called "Second Day ICSI" where they will pick out the best looking sperm and actually inject them right into the eggs to kind of 'force' fertilization. Usually when ICSI is done, the couple is expecting to have an issue and it is done right away, waiting until the second day to do it seems pretty rare from what I've seen online and unfortunately pretty unsuccessful as well. Of course the doctor says that it doesn't decrease the odds at all, but I have a hard time believing him.
So I just had a day of feeling sorry for myself and Jer did his best to put a positive spin on it, but I also was feeling increasingly bad from the Ovarian Hyperstimulation and I kind of just gave up. I was honestly expecting them to call the next day and say that it didn't work.
Well they did call the next day, but they had better news. Of the 10 eggs they did the procedure on, 3 of them had developed into embryos. Because there were only 3 they wanted to implant them right away instead of waiting to see how many make it to the blastocyst (5-day) stage. They set our implant up for the next morning.
As I'm sure you have noticed, the numbers were not on our side, we went from 14 eggs, to 13, to 10, to 3 and by the time we got to the surgical center Friday morning there were 2 good embryos left to put in. So we put them both in! I had to drink 32 oz of water on the way over, which was hard even for me (I love water) so they let me pee and then I had to lay on the hospital bed for 30 minutes before we could leave.
After we got home I was on bed rest for 2 days so my Mother-in-law was there for Friday to watch Anna and Jer was Mr. Mom all weekend while I rested and hopefully created a good environment for the little babies to snuggle in and start growing.
We are now playing the waiting game once again, we won't know anything for 4 weeks. I have a blood test in 2 weeks that should be a good indication of if things are still developing or not and then at 4 weeks they will know with more certainty if the pregnancy is successful.
I have to say that I am not getting my hopes up. I mean I am still treating myself as if I am pregnant right now, but I am preparing myself for bad news. Everything I have seen online does not look great when they have to do second day or "rescue" ICSI, so good news will be really good, and hopefully bad news won't be quite so devastating.
I am still doing 2 shots a day, one that Jer has to administer right into my butt that hurts so bad every time. That is the Progesterone in Oil and that will last for at least a few weeks. The other is Lovenox, which stings, but I do it in my stomach, and I took it twice a day everyday when I was pregnant with Anna so I am used to it.
I will probably check back in with news at the 2 week blood draw, but if we happen to get good news at the 4 week mark I will probably procrastinate a bit on posting ;) Sorry but I am just very superstitious. So no news is good news and keep those prayers coming.
So on Tuesday they were able to retrieve 14 eggs and they set them overnight to fertilize, we found out later that they actually put 50,000 sperm with each egg when in the human body the ratio is more like 1,000:1! But despite those more than "ideal" conditions we found out Wednesday morning that none of our eggs had fertilized...NONE! I never ever expected to hear that, we are not going through this process because we have any actual issue with fertility, just the physical act of the egg getting where it needs to be. As I've said many times, all three times I was pregnant it was on the first try - we shouldn't have an issue here and I never thought we would in a million years. But, we did. In fact they discarded 1 egg that was immature and the doctor later told us that when they went in to look Wednesday morning not a single sperm had attached to any of the 13 eggs. Not one! He said usually there are hundreds all over all of the eggs and we had zero.
The Doctor said the sperm looked great, were fantastic quality and the eggs were all really strong too. He had no idea why this happened and said it is very rare even for people with fertility problems that none attach at all.
Well that was pretty devastating, I had always been extremely positive and never had worries everything would go well on our first try. I was more worried about it going TOO well and ending up octomom or something (OK, maybe not that worried).
The nurse told us they were going to go ahead with a procedure called "Second Day ICSI" where they will pick out the best looking sperm and actually inject them right into the eggs to kind of 'force' fertilization. Usually when ICSI is done, the couple is expecting to have an issue and it is done right away, waiting until the second day to do it seems pretty rare from what I've seen online and unfortunately pretty unsuccessful as well. Of course the doctor says that it doesn't decrease the odds at all, but I have a hard time believing him.
So I just had a day of feeling sorry for myself and Jer did his best to put a positive spin on it, but I also was feeling increasingly bad from the Ovarian Hyperstimulation and I kind of just gave up. I was honestly expecting them to call the next day and say that it didn't work.
Well they did call the next day, but they had better news. Of the 10 eggs they did the procedure on, 3 of them had developed into embryos. Because there were only 3 they wanted to implant them right away instead of waiting to see how many make it to the blastocyst (5-day) stage. They set our implant up for the next morning.
As I'm sure you have noticed, the numbers were not on our side, we went from 14 eggs, to 13, to 10, to 3 and by the time we got to the surgical center Friday morning there were 2 good embryos left to put in. So we put them both in! I had to drink 32 oz of water on the way over, which was hard even for me (I love water) so they let me pee and then I had to lay on the hospital bed for 30 minutes before we could leave.
After we got home I was on bed rest for 2 days so my Mother-in-law was there for Friday to watch Anna and Jer was Mr. Mom all weekend while I rested and hopefully created a good environment for the little babies to snuggle in and start growing.
We are now playing the waiting game once again, we won't know anything for 4 weeks. I have a blood test in 2 weeks that should be a good indication of if things are still developing or not and then at 4 weeks they will know with more certainty if the pregnancy is successful.
I have to say that I am not getting my hopes up. I mean I am still treating myself as if I am pregnant right now, but I am preparing myself for bad news. Everything I have seen online does not look great when they have to do second day or "rescue" ICSI, so good news will be really good, and hopefully bad news won't be quite so devastating.
I am still doing 2 shots a day, one that Jer has to administer right into my butt that hurts so bad every time. That is the Progesterone in Oil and that will last for at least a few weeks. The other is Lovenox, which stings, but I do it in my stomach, and I took it twice a day everyday when I was pregnant with Anna so I am used to it.
I will probably check back in with news at the 2 week blood draw, but if we happen to get good news at the 4 week mark I will probably procrastinate a bit on posting ;) Sorry but I am just very superstitious. So no news is good news and keep those prayers coming.
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