It is a new year and a new start for our efforts to expand our family. Jeremy and I decided relatively quickly after the first failure that it was worth it to try the IVF process again. We really didn't dwell on the negative for very long, that is just how we are I guess.
We decided to wait until after Anna and my little Florida vacation to get back to the doctor office so just over a month after finding out the results from our first round we were back with the doctor to reevaluate the situation.
The doctor was very straightforward and matter of fact about the situation, which I guess you want from a medical professional. He also was very compassionate and I felt he was truly disappointed and almost apologetic that the procedure did not work.
He went through my chart and reviewed every step of the procedure with us. Basically it came down to fate...or bad luck....or God's will (more on that in a future post) because everything had gone according to plan and looked great up until the fertilization.
He again said that the sperm quality was great, my egg retrieval went well and my 13 mature eggs were all very strong. There just is no reason it didn't work. There is no good reason we didn't achieve fertilization on our own. I think that is a little bit worse than actually having an explanation. Not knowing why is hard. The doctor did say that several of my eggs, not all, but several had thickened walls. This is something that is common with women who have PCOS and for this reason women with PCOS are almost always set to do ICSI right away (where they literally inject the sperm into the egg). Of course I was one of the exceptions seeing as how I had gotten pregnant on my first try three different times already, obviously we did not have an issue with the sperm not penetrating the wall of the egg. And really, that wasn't the issue here either because this time the sperm did not even try to get through the wall no matter what the thickness.
However, knowing that now we will go ahead an plan to do ICSI right from the start with our next cycle. Doing the ICSI process right away yields much better results than waiting a day to see what happens naturally and then doing it on rapidly deteriorating eggs.
Our doctor said the odds of success are the same with the second round of IVF as they are with the first, it is starting with the third that they progressively get worse. He said there is no reason not to think we still have a great chance of the process working for us if we try again. There are no indications that it shouldn't have worked before or that it won't work in the future.
So we have to wait at least 8 weeks for my body to recover (it has been about 7 already) and the Doctor wants me to do 2 rounds of the Depot Lupron shots which will take at least 2 months and then we can start the process again, probably around May.
I just wanted to take the chance to update everyone who has been following. Again we are so thankful and grateful for your thoughts and prayers and thank you to everyone who checks in with me to see how it is going and how we are doing, we really appreciate it. Today marks 1 year since the day I woke up with the excruciating pain that eventually lead to surgery, scar tissue and IVF becoming part of our story. It has been quite a year for sure with a lot of ups and downs, but I am thankful for what I have and trusting that everything will work out as it is meant to be. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Everything will be OK in the end, if it isn't OK, it isn't the end"
